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Twitterjection Sucks
Posted on September 25, 2010 by admin in Uncategorized.I’ve always been a person who believes in the sanctity of personal relationships. It’s just part of who I am. That’s one reason I was so skittish about the whole social networking idea. I mean, who could really foster true friendships through the internet? That’s where people buy Russian brides, or pervs troll for teens. Yet as I entered the marketing world, I found that real friendships didn’t have to start face to face. I’ve met more great people the past six months, most of whom I found on twitter.
I know, 140 characters. Really? How can you get to know anyone in 140 characters. Yet it seems that having to say what you mean brings authenticity to a voice. Tweets are strengthened with brevity, conversations, which would have taken an hour before, are communicated in mere minutes. It’s a multi-tasker’s dream.
I’ll have to admit, I’m picky on twitter. The only time I blindly follow anyone is when someone I trust shouts them out in a #WW or #FF thread. And so when I follow someone it usually is because they are a teacher, writer, blogger, or basic enthusiast about the publishing industry. I always reach out in a reply tweet to new people. I want to get to know them, I want to take a few moments and just connect.
When I hit the 2,000 mark and found out that I couldn’t follow anymore people until more people followed me, I found Tweet adder. I only used the demo because I’m not into spam, or making artificial tweets to bolster my numbers. It just seems to sleezy to me, like I’m tricking people into thinking I’m there when I’m not. And I’m not in this to get a million followers, I just want to connect. Tweet adder was great because it unfollowed automatically. I didn’t have to see who rejected me, I just felt better when it was done… that is, until they put a cap on my demo. I now had to purchase the whole program for $55.00 or else.
Not to be deterred, I asked my twends what they used to clean up their account and who.unfollowed.me was recommended. This is a site where you could not only find out who unfollowed you, but also look at those that weren’t following you to begin with. The catch–you have to delete them one at a time.
At first, I loved this idea. I mean, I am following some pretty big names that really wouldn’t want to bother with little ole me, right? I don’t want to have to re-follow them. I put the project on the back burner, giving those I had just followed the opportunity to follow me back. I waited until this morning to type in the URL and started unfollowing 189 people.
It honestly surprised me how painful that actually was. Sure, some were easy to unfollow. They had 10,000 followers and only were following 3. Those were to be expected. But then, I clicked on an avatar. A writer popped up. Her bio was familiar, I had chosen to be her friend, but she obviously didn’t feel the same. Unfollow. Next avatar. This one was a blogger. She was following more than were following her. I had tweeted her several times telling her how much I enjoyed her posts. *sigh*. Unfollow. Next Avatar. This one was a teacher, a mom. She only was following 135 people and she had 136 following her. Really? Was I the only one that she didn’t want to follow? What’s wrong with me? I’m a nice person. I’m a teacher. I never tweet anything ugly…
And so it went. Each avatar represented someone that chose NOT to follow me. Someone who, for whatever reason, didn’t even think I was worth the click of a mouse. Even though I have 2900 followers, it still surprised me how much it stung.
I think I’ll be more careful about who I friend from now on. I just can’t take the rejection. It’s strange, but true.
I know rationally that it’s just twitter and I shouldn’t expend one moment of energy contemplating whether someone from Australia wants to be my friend, but I couldn’t see past it this morning, and so I’m asking…am I the only one? Do you get your feelings hurt when people don’t follow you back?
12 comments on “Twitterjection Sucks”
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I’m fairly new to twitter and have slowly gathered followers. Most of them come through my blog,Two Ends of the Pen, and also from fellow kindleboards.com authors. I thought I was doing pretty good when I had 80 followers. But you’re way ahead of me. How did you get 2900 followers? That’s awesome.
Deb
Awww hon, don’t feel bad. Also, be careful in your unfollows – you don’t know whether the person unfollowed, never followed, or twitter unfollowed. I can’t count the number of conversations I’ve seen or been a part of where someone realizes they are NOT following someone else and they didn’t do the unfollowing. Twitter occasionally, for reasons no one can discern, unfollows folks. I’ve been appalled to find sometimes that I am no longer following someone I knew I was before. If I ever stop following you – send me an @ and let me know.
Debra, I just started tweeting when the book went live. It was so much fun to add people that I thought I’d like to get to know. Also, people tend to follow you because they either like your tweets or they join in on a conversation you’re having with others.
LK, I never thought of that. I have had twitter unfollow a few of my friends before, but I’ve always caught it because it seems to be the people that I tweet most. Thanks! That makes me feel better!
I know exactly how you feel. I even quit Twitter a couple years ago because of that reason, not to mention I ran into some unsavory characters who were exceptionally rude.
I’m torn as to whether I want people following me simply because I followed them, yet it irks me if I follow them and they don’t reciprocate. Catch 22.
Personally, I prefer facebook. It feels more like a real friendship to me somehow. Twitter just moves so fast and I feel ignored most of the time there. Kinda like high school *shivers with bad memories*.
It’s taken me a good couple of years to find my place in the internet world. I still don’t know if I’m comfortable here yet but I have met some wonderful people through it.
You are not alone, Beth.
It does hurt when I am following someone, we have great conversations, and they never follow back. But do you know what hurts the worst? It’s when Someone follows you, you follow them back, then a few days later, you see on who.unfollowed.me that they unfollowed you. Then the doubt creeps in. Why did they unfollow? Did I say something that offended them? Do I tweet too much? As ridiculous as it sounds, I have depaired over someone unfollowing me before.
I know it’s only twitter, but it’s human nature to want to be liked! I just have to focus on the awesome friends I already have on twitter. Really, I think some of the best people in the world are my twitter followers. Including you! =)
Jami, I’m so glad I’m not the only one! That just happened to me today. Someone quoted Nora on Twitter, and I retweeted and then thanked them. It’s honestly humbling to see your writing as a random quote. Anyway, I lost 4 followers. I went to who.unfollowed.me to see. Three were people I wasn’t following (companies I had no interest in), but one was an author. *sigh* I chose to believe that twitter did that randomly.
The good news is I tweeted out something thinking that maybe that was true…I mean twitter’s done that to me before. Then I met one of the nicest writers whom I befriended a while ago but hadn’t really talked to. Soon I had four followers back. Hey Carma’s a good thing!
I have noticed people I followed are not showing up as followed all of a sudden. So maybe that is happening to a lot of people on twitter!
And I agree, Good Karma always comes back somehow! =)
This is exactly the reaction I have to unfollowing/unfriending people, here and at every social networking site. I’ve never understood people who unhesitatingly clear their lists once a month — it’s like pulling teeth to me.
I am so ecstatic to find out that I am not the only one! I thought I was being silly- this is only an online thing right? Wrong. I made an account a while ago, but was so focused on getting my book done, that I didn’t log in much until Nora asked if I was on twitter. OO I am! As I try to slowly integrate myself there, I am really lost lol. So I start flowing other writers, hmm, they don’t follow back. it’s ok at first, but as I start to talk and really enjoy the conversations and they start following only to THEN unfollow it does hurt. But I’m pressing on, I guess these things take time. It’s just a new way to experience rejection, and hey, I’ve gotten use to the agent rejections! I guess this will also come naturally! Hey Jamie! Still loving your blog
OH, I called Elizabeth Nora! I am so into your book that I have Nora on the brain! Sorry!
Beth,
You know I love you, girl, but I have to disagree. While I love to see the number of my followers grow, I don’t put a lot of stock in who is following me and who isn’t. I don’t ever automatically follow back. If I have a great conversation with someone, I may not even realize that I am not following them until I go to send them a DM. Then, of course, I follow. I follow folks that are connected to writing and maybe not everyone who follows me falls under that category, so it would dilute my focus to auto-follow.
I have made some great friends on Twitter (you included) and would love to follow more writer folks (hit the 2000 cap myself- grrr). Trying to narrow down whom you follow because of the cap is a pain, I would definitely agree with you there. I unfollow people when their tweets don’t jive with me, but sometimes I unfollow them because we’re never tweeting at the same time so I didn’t get to know them and want to add someone new.
There are a thousand and one reasons that a person might unfollow me and I don’t think the majority would be because of something personal, so I choose not to take it personally if my numbers drop.
I am still really enjoying Twitter, for the chat-like atmosphere, for the connection, for the sharing of writing-related info and insights. And I am thankful to meet great people such as yourself! *hug*
Cyndi
Howdy Elizabeth,
We have given you an award as we love your book and blog:D
Come pick it up at novelsontherun.blogspot.com
Michelle and Marissa